Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about the other person. It’s not about you either. To forgive is to be generous. I like to think of it like dana (generosity), to give without regret. Death is our final generous act of forgiveness. The suffix “-ness” is to be full of the quality of ___________. How can we be full of forgiveness? I think water can teach us how to embody forgiveness. The chemical properties of water are such that the molecules take the shape of the container and never take more space than is needed, unlike air which expands to fill the container. Water is generous.

In the talk on Forgiveness by Michael Stone on Dec 21, 2016, he is guiding a New Year’s Silent Retreat and sounds melancholy and grounded. He suggests that the ancient source is always bubbling, the rivers that you are. When “we cry on our cushions, that is also the river”, said Michael. You are water - literally and metaphorically. Take that in. Feel that in your body.

He notes that all retreat participants have cried on their cushions in private sessions with him. He believes that if they were in Oryoki practice for a longer period of time, then they would all laugh. The juxtaposition of tears and laughter is palpably human. Sometimes laughter even gives way to tears. The river flows in this way.

What gets in the way of this forgiveness? The insidious comparing mind seeking approval and to be seen. We punish ourselves when we compare. We are not generous when we are in the midst of comparing mind. So that we may offer ourselves, we must attend to each moment with freshness and with beautiful conduct. Practice helps sculpt our attitude, so that beautiful conduct naturally arises from the bubbling source. “To have more love than suffering. To be closer to the bubbling source than to anger” (Michael Stone).

Forgiveness is about surprising yourself, it’s about allowing for a creative response to arise that meets the momentary need. In this way, buddha nature (being human) heals you.

Gasho,

Jennifer