Pausing.

Culturally, when do we pause? How do we relate to pausing? Is pausing the same as waiting? Similar?

The traffic meter on the on-ramp asks you to pause. I encounter this on my daily commute. I don’t mind it, as I understand it serves a purpose (at least theoretically). Sometimes I witness other drivers disregard the red light and continue on their way. Yes, maybe there is something urgent at their destination, though it happens frequently enough that I think some simply disregard the pause because it’s inconvenient for them. How does this disrupt the traffic for all the other drivers? I wonder.

A colleague pulled me aside to inform me she put in her notice after thirteen years with the company. I said we’d miss her and asked what was next for her. She said travel. I said, “Sometimes a pause is a great way to reflect and I’m so glad you can take that time.” She defensively said, “I worked really hard to be able to.” I responded, “Yes, and some people work really hard their entire lives and still can’t take an extended leave.” She had a moment and acknowledged that truth. There were clearly stories she is managing internally.

Are pauses boring? Do they have to be? If they are boring, can we be okay with boredom?

In my mid-twenties my mom used to wonder why I needed a break, a vacation or a retreat. I’m sure we have all faced criticism for our choices to pause, ask for space, etc. It takes courage in a culture that advocates pressing on without reflection. What happens on the other side of the pause? How do you know you need a pause?