Feeling Empty and So Full.

Two-thirds of the way through Tending to the Whole Self and feeling empty and so full. This vessel that is my body has carried the vision of this weekend since November and beyond. This weekend is timeless - without a beginning or end - in the sense that it carries on. Approaching this weekend, I was swollen with excitement and opening day I was in the midst of a sea of grief. There is something referred to as “reunion grief”. This is the grief that was present. It’s the grief that surfaces when you reunite with your wholeness, dare I say your divinity. This re-membering is so tender and jarring that the approach and landing can take sometime, years even. With most of the event behind me, this vessel is feeling emptied and buoyant and so full of nourishment.

floating freely amidst the fluid. space surrounds. the emptiness is safe and vast. the separateness is hidden. the water is supportive. leslie kaminoff alluding to life being this dance. my niece dancing. my life a new with dance. breaking me and breaking me open. wow. clearly this is a practice of embodiment and awaking to the ever changing and living landscape. not sure where my thoughts went. mostly, attended to my experience.

- written during a second saturday sangha with sarah clark and anne gehman (circa 2016)